My Zen · The Mollie Chronicles

To the Man who Doesn’t Fear Roller-Coasters

This is by far the most exciting news I have going on right now.

I am Engaged.

I can’t hardly believe it.

I actually started this blog with the title of, “My Crazy Single Life.”

And here we are.

For so many years it didn’t even seem plausible. My prior commitment issues aside, I actually considered never getting married at all. I thought it was a legal institution that means we sign some papers and my spouse gets to put me on their insurance. And we get some other perks like tax deductions and life insurance? Honestly, I am not even sure what the legal jargon all is, but just about a year ago, the idea of this legal ceremonial right-of-passage was just that. A legality. It did not seem like a necessary thing to do to declare my love for my boyfriend.

Oh how my opinion has changed.

I actually want the whole ceremony/reception/party thing to declare my love for my fiance; to declare my lifelong commitment to him in front of our closest friends and family. I can’t wait.

Just last night I was sitting in bed writing in my niece’s blog for her and thinking about my life. How blessed I am to have such a loving and supportive family. To have a partner who always supports me and is there for me no matter what.

I also thought about this really difficult conversation we had somewhere around a year ago where I was mostly panic-stricken with realizing this man was constantly living in my house and my 26-year-long routine was being tampered with. It was the exact moment in every other relationship that I threw my hands up and said, “this is too hard. its not worth my energy. i am done.”

So the difficult conversation was had where we discussed commitment. We discussed that relationships are difficult. They take work. Ultimately, there will be problems. The significant piece is the desire of both parties to continue working through the issues, instead of throwing their hands in the air.

So we did.

And last night, sitting in my bed with my future husband snoring at my side…I felt so grateful that we had that conversation. We decided at that moment to keep pushing forward. To continue loving one another. To take on the challenge and enjoy the happiness.

I am so grateful that I didn’t run. That I didn’t give up. That I have a fiance who loves me for all my imperfections. For my skepticism and fear of commitment.

This wonderful man who looked at the roller-coaster that was my life and thought, “I love roller-coasters!”

Yes. I am quite grateful for him.

 

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