My Zen · The Mollie Chronicles

Fact V. Feeling

Changes are happening in my life and I have spent the past couple of weeks searching. And searching. For a new apartment. Online. While Driving. Through word of mouth. I have toured at least 15 different homes and apartments. Each one I toured had something I enjoyed, but also had several drawbacks. 

Last week I found the PERFECT place. It had wood floors, a fireplace, an open kitchen with a breakfast bar, a large patio, a plethora of storage space and more than enough square footage. There was a pool. It was a gated community. It was beautiful. 

The realtor was informative and honest. I trusted her. I wanted to run home and apply for the apartment immediately. I told her I would. 

I didn’t.

Something was holding me back. That gut-feeling my mom always told me to listen to. For some reason I hesitated. I still don’t know why I hesitated, but I did. And I listened to my instincts. 

I re-evaluated my needs in this moment. There are numerous factors in my life in the process of change. I am surrounded by new opportunities like a better job, or the option to relocate. I continue to consider moving closer to my family. Through all of this uncertainty, I have the option to keep one thing steady: where I am living. Yes, I will be living alone in the near future and I want to have a place of my own; a fresh start.

However, it is not an immediate need. I CAN stay where I am. At least for the moment. 

I think if we listen to our “gut-feelings” we can avoid unnecessary stress and circumstances in our lives. I just have this feeling that something else in my life is about to change. Sometimes being patient and waiting for these feelings to play out is completely worthwhile. Sure, all the facts and logic point one direction, but feelings can be even more important to pay attention to. 

I can make “pros and cons” lists all day long. I can outweigh the benefits against the risks. I can let probability make decisions for me. But probability doesn’t account for happiness and satisfaction. Our ‘gut-feelings’ do that. At the end of the day, I want to be happy. I need to make decisions based on that feeling; not based on facts.

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