And no. Not the one that was on MTV back in the day. (Or maybe still is). I have no idea. Perks of not owning a television (What??).
I had a rather long drive this weekend to consider what is going on around me. We are talking about 11 hours in total of pure thought. With and American Idol audition from time to time…obviously.
I sort of took a step outside of my body and viewed it from above. As an observer.
It felt a little bizarre. Surreal, maybe.
One of the only things I ever remembering doing is working. Working toward a goal. Any goal:
Getting on my high school’s dance team.
Graduating top in my class.
Finding the right college.
Finding the right major.
Completing that major successfully.
Passing my licensure boards.
Starting a life somewhere new.
Finding a job.
Being a professional.
Ten, even five years ago, some of these goals seemed unobtainable. The stress of making the “right” choices to achieve these goals took a toll on me and in many moments, became overwhelming. In other moments the stress was clouded by the continuous workload of school and making money. I didn’t always have time to be concerned with the day-to-day.
In what now seems like a flash, it was all over. I have finally arrived to what I’ve always worked for. A career that I love, in a new area, with some of the people that mean the most to me. I am living my dream. It is difficult to grasp this concept.
My mother always taught me to be better. Work harder. Go after what I want. And I did. She should be a really proud momma right about now. I am here because I did work hard, but I couldn’t have done it, and may not have wanted to, without her support and motivation.
It seems unreal how fast time passes. How in one moment it seems like the world is caving in around you and further on in our lives, the event seems so minute. Even years become minute in the grand scheme of our entire lives.
I try to remember that when seemingly catastrophic things happen in my life. But in the moment, it is definitely not easy. My favorite thing to say to myself in these moments is, “This is all temporary”. Because it is. In a few years, everything may be drastically different. Time always most things to be clearly understood.